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DEAR FOZ continued...

Dear Foz,
I think I am frightened of women. Last week I went to a fifth form dance, and for some reason, it seemed to me that almost all the girls were wearing nappies. Now every girl I meet seems to be under eleven years old. Perhaps I am going senile, or merely hallucinating, but nevertheless, the next fifth form dance I go to, I am taking my walking stick to fend off the hordes of pre-pubescent infants. I am an artist, but am not on L.S.D.

A.Sixthformer

Dear A.S.,
I have a wheelchair you can borrow…Oh, and some of the new school issue flared trousers….there's something that will put years on you!


Dear Foz,
I am running out of rules to enforce. I have copies of all the school rules as far back as 1903, but I have almost exhausted them now. Were rule books printed before 1903, and if so, could you tell me where I could get copies? Do you know if throwing non-christians to the lions for not bowing their heads in chapel is O.K. by the head?

A.Housemaster

Dear A.H.,
I think A.Historyteacher is the person to see about rule books (pre 1903), but although the lion's bit sounds nice, I think it might reduce the congregation.


Dear Foz,
Why is nobody showing interest in my plans for taking the whole school on a rugby tour of the solar system? Is it unreasonable for me to expect the parents to sell their houses and go bankrupt, after all I have done for their sons' rugby skills. At a mere 14,000,600 pounds per head, it seemed a bargain. Ungrateful, apathetic lot, I'll have them all spanked.

A.Rugbycoach.

Dear A.R.,
Perhaps you could raise more money - try a sponsored drumhead service.


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SOME YORKIST INFO !!

In commemoration of the occasion of the Trooping of The Colour in the grounds of the school by the First Batallion of The Royal Hampshire Regiment on lst August 1981.

The picture shows Major H.W. Patourel, 2nd Batallion, The Royal Hampshire Regiment and survivors of a small volunteer party attacking one of the several enemy machine gun posts at the Teboura Gap in Tunisia on 3rd December 1942. For this and for subsequent gallantry Major Le Patourel was awarded The Victoria Cross.

The painting is signed by the artist Terence Cuneo.

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