Marriage Doesn't Come Flat Packed

By Slim 'Shady' Garwood

Marriage is not an impulse buy.
Like buying flat pack furniture from a life style store.
Itís not something you get to impress your friends,
Because Cosmo said itís of the latest trends.
Itís not cherry veneer on MDF, with castors and handles to match.
Something you can wheel around with the flick of a catch.

Itís more like that old sideboard in the corner supporting the wall.
It has a drawer for odd things like string, hooks, fuses and tape.
Another for old photos, pictures and things that have meaning.
It has solid feet and blocks to prevent it from leaning.
Thereís a place underneath for your favourite shoes.
And a nook to store things you donít want to lose.

Thereís plenty of space for things you have been given.
That cake stand, decanter, teapot; things best kept hidden.
All the things you canít use yet.
And the things you have shared since you first met.
There is room at the back for games, toys and prizes,
To amuse children of all shapes and sizes.

Itís not held together with clever catches and odd shaped screws.
It has dovetail joints stuck with care and old fashioned glue.
Itís solid and warm with coffee ring stains and edges that donít catch.
Itís totally unique. No others to match.
It has a familiar bees wax smell,
And you know that it will serve you both well.

This thing is BIG.
It can take knocks and scrapes and the odd small explosion.
It can be mended and fixed with care and devotion.
You may decide to have it restored,
A coat of French polish and new liners for drawers.
Hopefully, an occasional rub down is all thatís requiredÖ..

You can cover it in chintz, velvet or paint.
It can be kitsch, cheesy, tasteful or quaint.
The point is that itís yourís to change.
It doesnít have to fit with the latest range.
It can be grand, outrageous, fun or tame,
Because itís built on a hardwood frame.

This piece has no price tag. Itís not on a list and canít be bought in a sale.
Thereís no receipt, it canít go back to the shop or be sold.
It doesnít come in flat pack with a plan and some packing.
It may end up battered, tired and lacking.
But itís yours. Yours alone. Donít be tempted to chuck it into a skip,
Because fashion dictates that sideboards arenít hip.