The Jabberwocky
Film Quote Quiz

The following 200 lines all come from reasonably well known films. There are films from most eras of the cinema (with the possible exception of the silents!).

So print it out, take it to the pub with a mate, and name that film!   Enjoy...

  1. "It is the middle of the dark ages, ages darker than anyone had expected."
  2. "We're on a mission from God." (Listen 31kb)
  3. "Mrs Robinson, if you don't mind me saying so, this conversation is getting a little strange."
  4. "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
  5. "I'd just helped Ed Hickey into a taxi. Ed had been mixing his drinks, and I felt he needed conveying. I started to walk down the street when I heard a voice sing 'Good evening, Mr Dowd'. I turned, and there was this big white rabbit leaning against a lamp-post. Well I thought nothing of that! Because when you've lived in this town as long as I've lived in this one, you get used to to the fact that everybody knows your name..."
  6. "It wasn't the aeroplanes. It was the beauty that killed the beast." (Listen 50kb)
  7. "Last night I dreamed I went to Manderley again..."
  8. "You can't polish a turd."
  9. "Are you looking for shells too?"
    "No, I'm just looking!"
  10. "Good one of Wally!"
  11. "Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo"
  12. "He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way"
  13. "Help Me"
  14. "Frying Tonight"
  15. "I'm your number one fan."
  16. "I've reached the top and I've got to stop and that's what's bothering me."
  17. "What're you rebelling against, Johnny?"
    "Whaddya got?
  18. "Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone..."
  19. "You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together, I've got nothing better to do!"
  20. "I am an animal. I am NOT a human being."
  21. "You punch like you take it up the ass."
  22. "You know something? You read too many comic books."
  23. "Here's Johnny!"
  24. "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."
  25. "Do you think God knew what He was doing when He created woman? Huh? No shit. I really wanna know. Or do you think it was another one of His minor mistakes like tidal waves, earthquakes, FLOODS? You think women are like that? S'matter? You don't think God makes mistakes? Of course He does. We ALL make mistakes. Of course, when WE make mistakes they call it evil. When GOD makes mistakes, they call it... nature. So whaddya think? Women... a mistake... or DID HE DO IT TO US ON PURPOSE?"
  26. "Sports make you grunt and smell. Stay in school, use your brains. Be a thinker, not a stinker."
  27. "Non!"
  28. "Here I was born, and there I died."
  29. "A census taker once tried to test me... I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti."
  30. "Gladiators don't make friends. If we're ever matched in the arena together, I have to kill you."
  31. "When a guy picks a chick over his buddies, somethin' gotta be wrong!"
  32. "Look at that! Look at how she moves! That's just like jello on springs!"
  33. "I'm just a sweet transvestite, from Transsexual Transylvania."
  34. "Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!"
  35. "I'ts going to be allright, little Andy or Jenny."
  36. "My brain! It's my second favorite organ!"
  37. "Go do something your own age, like vandalize a phonebox!"
  38. "They're hot, Chief! They've got fire in their eyes, hunger in their bellies... and great big shoes on their feet!"
  39. "When you get up in the morning, how do you decide what shade of black to wear?"
  40. "There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me: keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
  41. "This here's William James Joad, died of a stroke, old, old man. His folkes buried him because they got no money for funerls. Nobody kilt him. Just a stroke and he died."
  42. "Better to be king for a night than a schmuck for a lifetime."
  43. "Let me make something clear to you. He doesn't have a name. He has a program. He's product."
  44. "You must play as if there's no tomorrow."
  45. "Wake up! Time to die!"
  46. "We need bigger guns."
  47. "By the authority vested in me by Kaiser William II, I pronounce you husband and wife. Proceed with the execution."
  48. "Phone home."
  49. "The big score: anyone, any sex, over 75 years old has been upped to 100 points."
  50. "Those AREN'T PILLOWS!!!"
  51. "Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
  52. "It's awfully easy to lie when you know that your're trusted implicitly. So very easy, and so very degrading."
  53. "We know how to behave! We've had lessons."
  54. "The future is in your hands, Mr. Travis. Take it... now!"
  55. "OK, so we got a trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting, these folks drive by, there's a high-speed pursuit, ends here and then this execution-type deal."
  56. "If we ain't outta here in ten minutes, we won't need no rocket to fly through space."
  57. "Mr. Brown? That sounds too much like Mr. Shit."
  58. "Can you dig it?"
  59. "Remember: Always let your conscience be your guide."
  60. "Rourke's Drift... It'd take an Irishman to give his name to a rotten stinking middle o' nowhere hole like this."
  61. "I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... the only real home I'd ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car. It was like... magic."
  62. "Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts."
  63. "Angel, ha! She's a female! And all females is poison! They're full of wicked wiles!"
  64. "I will tear your soul apart."
  65. "I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five?"
  66. "You're a good-looking boy: you've big, broad shoulders. But he's a man. And it takes more than big, broad shoulders to make a man."
  67. "They destroyed a town. A small town, but a town nonetheless"
  68. "If we bring a little joy into your humdrum lives, it makes us feel as if our hard work ain't been in vain for nothing."
  69. "You guys give up yet? or are you thirsty for more?"
  70. "Your choice is simple. Join us and live in peace or pursue your present course and face obliteration. We shall be waiting for your answer. The decision rests with you."
  71. "Nuns. No sense of humour."
  72. "Humour. It is a difficult concept. It is not logical."
  73. "One shot. That's what it's all about. One shot."
  74. "Why ask for the moon? We have the stars."(Listen 96kb)
  75. "I speak over two thousand languages, including Dodo and Unicorn."
  76. "Any film, even the worst, is better than real life."
  77. "Take that dress off. I can see your dirty pillows."
  78. "Home to what? A porters uniform outside a restaurant and six penny tips from belching civilians for closing cab doors on their blowzy women?"
  79. "The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works."
  80. "Beware the beast man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, for he is the harbinger of death."
  81. "Cato! You imbecile! Not now!"
  82. "You're a big man, but you're in bad shape."
  83. "Oh Larry, I didn't realise you had a drinking problem."
    "Well I don't really, but that's where all the deals are being made these days."
  84. "All communications are out... which is why these tape recordings I'm making are for the sake of future history - if any."
  85. "Would you like me to tell you the little story of right-hand/left-hand? The story of good and evil? "
  86. "Shall we play a game?"
  87. "Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
  88. (Listen 20kb)

  89. "Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention."
  90. "Atticus says cheating a black man is ten times worse than cheating a white."
  91. "Bear left! Right, frog!"
  92. "We called him Mother Superior on account of the length of his habit."
  93. "Round up the usual suspects." (Listen 18kb)
  94. "They call me MISTER Tibbs!"
  95. "Fill me with your little babies!"
  96. "I race cars, play tennis, and fondle women, BUT! I have weekends off, and I am my own boss."
  97. "This may be your last night on earth. Do you want to die a virgin?"
  98. "You'll find a slight squeeze on the hooter an excellent safety precaution, Miss Scrumptious."
  99. "His fridge had been out of order for two weeks now. I saw milk standing in there that wasn't in the bottle!"
  100. "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"
  101. "See, I did join the army, but I joined a different army. I joined the one with the condos and the private rooms."
  102. "You talkin' to me?"
  103. "We are the Knights who say... NI!"
  104. "Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."
  105. "Daddy, teacher says every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings."
  106. "They're here."
  107. "Even businessmen, who rob and cheat and steal from people everyday, even they have to pay taxes."
  108. "I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man."
  109. "Frankly, you're beginning to smell and for a stud in New York, that's a handicap."
  110. "Oh, I'm not trying to land him, I'm just using him for sex."
  111. "Get away from her you bitch!"
  112. "Open fire. All weapons. Dispatch war rocket 'Ajax' to bring back his body."
  113. "I can't seem to stop singing wherever I am. And what's worse, I can't seem to stop saying things - anything and everything I think and feel."
  114. "You know the results of the latest Gallup Poll? Half the country never even heard of the word Watergate. Nobody gives a shit. You guys are probably pretty tired, right? Well, you should be. Go on home, get a nice hot bath. Rest up... 15 minutes. Then get your asses back in gear. We're under a lot of pressure, you know, and you put us there. Nothing's riding on this except the, uh, first amendment to the Constitution, freedom of the press, and maybe the future of the country. Not that any of that matters, but if you guys fuck up again, I'm going to get mad. Goodnight."
  115. "Of course, you can say it backwards, which is dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus, but that's going a bit too far, don't you think?"
  116. "One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry, and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in, and on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all, but I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since, that I haven't thought of that girl."
  117. "Hitler..there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in ONE afternoon! TWO coats!!"
  118. "When you're slapped, you'll take it and like it."
  119. "I love waking up in the morning not knowing where I'm gonna go or who I'm gonna meet. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge, and now here I am, on the grandest ship in the world, having champagne with you fine people."
  120. "That's what he does. That's all he does! "
  121. "Um, juicy fruit."
  122. "Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?"
  123. "These go to eleven."
  124. "Heey! This is all right! When I was a kid, we wanted bubbles, we had to fart in the tub!"
  125. "I am not an animal! I am a human being!"
  126. "Got a question for you; Which magazine sells the most copies?"
    "Those with girls on the front covers and no front covers on the girls."
  127. "Don't you ever say that again about your fathers, because they are not cowards. You think I am brave because I carry a gun; well, your fathers are much braver because they carry responsibility, for you, your brothers, your sisters, and your mothers. And this responsibility is like a big rock that weighs a ton. It bends and it twists them until finally it buries them under the ground. And there's nobody says they have to do this. They do it because they love you, and because they want to. I have never had this kind of courage. Running a farm, working like a mule every day with no guarantee will ever come of it. This is bravery."
  128. "We were all feeling a bit shagged and fagged and fashed, it being a night of no small expenditure."
  129. "Insanity runs in my family... It practically gallops."(Listen 109kb)
  130. "These cuffs are made of tensiled steel. It would take you ten minutes to hack through them. If you're quick, and if you're lucky, you can hack through your ankle in five."
  131. "Dry land is not just our destination, it is our destiny!"
  132. "In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."
  133. "So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?"
  134. "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"(Listen 76kb)
  135. "This whole world's wild at heart and weird on top."
  136. "Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers began visiting here in the late 16th century."
  137. "You're best. Losers always wine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen!"
  138. "Bates Motel...12 rooms, 12 vacancies."
  139. "...All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."(Listen 54kb)
  140. "I'd rather stick needles in my eyes."
  141. "Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is not."
  142. "You see a girl a couple of times a week and sooner or later she thinks you'll divorce your wife. Not fair, is it?"
  143. "The spice must flow."
  144. "Find Durand-Durand."
  145. "Make the best of what we offer you, and you will suffer less than you deserve."
  146. "There are two kinds of women and you, as we well know, are not the first kind. You, my dear, are a slut."
  147. "Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda!"
  148. "Houston, we have a problem."
  149. "Christmas? Christmas means dinner, dinner means death! Death means carnage; Christmas means carnage!"
  150. "We always were English and we always will be English and it's just because we ARE English that were're sticking up for our right to be Bergundians."
  151. "I'm the ghost with the most, babe."
  152. "Saigon, shit"
  153. "An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind."
  154. "Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That's good. Hate keeps a man alive."
  155. "Disturbing the peace?! I got thrown out of a window! What's the fuckin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?!"
  156. "You shoot off a guy's head with his pants down, believe me, Texas ain't the place you want to get caught."
  157. "I don't wanna be the same as everyone else. That's why I'm a mod, see?"
  158. "When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way!"
  159. "I sense something. A presence I've not felt since..."
  160. "We want water. That's as simple as I can make it. Anybody can understand that."
  161. "If you can't bring the water to Los Angeles, you bring Los Angeles to the water."
  162. "I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight."
  163. "Never say who's there? Don't you watch scary movies? It's a death wish. You might as well come out to investigate a strange noise or something."
  164. "Now I know you're a smart lawyer, Frazier, very smart - but don't get smart with me"
  165. "I'm drinking some wine, eating some cheese, and catching some rays, you know..."
  166. "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
  167. "We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!"
  168. "I'm your best friend. What's more important than that, huh?"
  169. "I shot an arrow in the air; she fell to earth in Berkeley Square."
  170. "A naked American man stole my balloons."
  171. "It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business."
  172. "Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K."
  173. "I'll die if I don't get that recipe. I'll die if I don't get that recipe. I'll die if I don't get that recipe...."
  174. "I shall return in a nonce. At most, two nonces."
  175. "You said read the telephone book last night. Dibbs Sally. 461-0192."
  176. "The strangeness of this life cannot be measured: in trying to bring about my own death, I achieved the status of a living hero."
  177. "Good evening, Mrs. King."
  178. "Sucking all the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone."
  179. "You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender."
  180. "Ladies and gentlemen, it might interest you to know that the City of New York has agreed to pay for your release."
  181. "I am the law!"
  182. "Very poetic, gentlemen. Let me know when we pass the soul."
  183. "I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules."
  184. "Hi, come on in! Drugs to the right, hookers to the left."
  185. "Say, I like the colour of your car there. What's that s'posed to be? Sort of a cross between piss yella' and puke green ain't it?"
  186. "There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here, you are all equally worthless."
  187. "Anyway, that's enough about me, let's talk about you. What do you think about me? "
  188. "He was my idol. There wasn't a time when I didn't know his name."
  189. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?"
  190. "When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer."
  191. "I promised her my eternal love, and I actually thought that for a couple of hours."
  192. "The fool, the meddling idiot! As though his ape's brain could contain the secrets of the Krell."
  193. "Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but my goodness, doesn't it help?"
  194. "What Larks, Pip."
  195. "You're gonna need a bigger boat."
  196. "Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today."
  197. "First on the left, one cross each."
  198. "Mama always said life was like a box a chocolates, never know what you're gonna get."
  199. "Afraid this tea is pathetic. I must have used those wretched leaves about twenty times. It's not that I mind so much. Tea without milk is so uncivilized."
  200. "After all ... tomorrow is another day."
  201. "This list... is an absolute good."
  202. Want the answers? E-mail us at and Lesley or I will email them back to you.